Look Me in the Eye
by the Divine Nataku
Summary: Semi-sequel to 'Jumper' - Spike learns that one truly begins appreciate a person once they're gone. *Updated!!*
1. Entry 1

Author's Notes - Now, don't get mad at me... I know I promised   
you guys a sequel to 'That's Why They Call it the Blues' first, but   
seeing since Writer's Block has managed to jump up and bite me in   
the ass in that respect, I've decided to put that on hold for a little bit.   
However, since you guys enjoyed my oneshot fics so much (thanks   
for the awesome reviews, more are welcome!), I decided to write   
a sequel to them. (Do you think 'While You Were Sleeping' could   
count as a prequel to 'Jumper'? I dunno.. let me know what you think).   
  
But anyways, not to get off track, this fic is slightly AU, seeing   
that it follows the end of the series, assuming that Ed never left the   
Bebop. It's Spike and Faye (of course),though I'm seriously debating   
whether or not Julia should be even seriously considered... but oh   
well. Enough ranting on my part, enjoy the fic!  
  
Disclaimer - Cowboy Bebop does not belong to me. It belongs to its   
awesome creators and their affiliates because they're cool and the have   
enough money to sue the pants off of me for copyright infringements. =)  
  
Cowboy Bebop  
"Look Me in the Eye"  
product of Nataku-chan Incorporated ^_^  
  
Prologue - Cheating Death Once more  
This could be the last time, you will  
Stand by my side  
I can feel my soul it's bleeding, will you fly  
With me this evening  
  
Step. Ow. Step. Wince. Step. Aw, fu--!  
  
Spike stopped, looking down at the scene before him; fires and debris  
lay scattered everywhere. Everything in his peripheral vision was hazy   
with smoke - or maybe he was worse off than he had orignally thought.  
  
Damn. Below him stood several dozen Red Dragon soldiers; all stragglers  
that had managed to escape the damage wrought by his hands - or was it  
all by the hands of Vicious? Either way it didn't matter, Spike had been   
the one to end it. It was finally over.  
  
Over... Spike let out a sigh that could have been mistaken for a laugh, or   
vice versa. He had waited three long years for this day; the blood of the  
beast had finally been bled clean away. The dream was over... so why was  
there still a painful, gut-wrenching feeling of unfulfillment?  
  
There was no time to dwell on the past anymore; his strength was fading fast.   
Would the guards attack him once he finally fell? It felt strange to feel so   
vulnerable, but Spike didn't let that bother him. Spike found he didn't care about  
that either. He slowly raised his hand, pointing out towards his audience.  
  
"Bang."  
  
Never had a single word held so much power behind it as it echoed throughout  
the remnants of the lobby. He was going down, falling into the abyss... No, no!   
He didn't want to go yet, he didn't want to wake up!  
  
Before he knew it, there was darkness.  
  
~~~~~  
  
He thought he heard humming. Before long, he realized it was the low humming  
of a zipcraft in the distance. The purr of the engine sounded vaguely familiar...  
  
"Zipcraft?" Spike slowly opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings. The cabin  
of the Bebop, suddenly dark and empty without the lively voices of the crew. The   
old yellow couch shifted under his weight as he sat up slowly... Or tried.   
  
With an exclamation of pain, Spike fell backwards with a soft thud. Pain  
immediately seized him, lancing through his veins like red hot pokers. Spike   
grittedhis teeth, fighting back another scream.  
  
Footsteps quickly approached him, hands touching his face, gently soothing him.   
Spike immediately felt relief. This person, whoever it was always seemed to be   
near when he seemed troubled or in pain. This woman ( he assumed she was a   
woman ) would hum gently or stroke his hair whenever he seemed distressed,  
lulling him back into a dreamless sleep.  
  
Spike opened his eyes again, the world once again coming back into focus. A   
hand brushed his hair out of his eyes, stroking his face gently. Without thinking,   
he grasped it, resting it back against his cheek.  
  
Memories rushed back at him with full force; the dogfight, Annie's death along with   
Shin's, Jet's story of the hunter and his of the cats, the death fight with Vicious,   
and finally...  
  
"Julia..." he murmured, clutching the hand tightly.  
  
The hand tensed before pulling away slowly. Suddenly, a pair of eyes filled Spike's   
vision. They were a deep, emerald greeen, filled with an emotion Spike could not   
recognize, but knew would be forever printed upon his memory.   
  
For a brief moment, warm lips brushed against his, pulling away before he could   
react. And then her voice filled his ears, "Guess again, Gaujo."  
  
  
~End of Prologue~ 


	2. Entry 2

Disclaimer - I have no money for a witty disclaimer, which means I sho'nuff   
don't have enough money to buy Cowboy Bebop.  
  
"Look Me in the Eye"  
a product of Nataku-chan Incorporated ^_^  
  
Chapter 1 - Waking, Waiting, and Wondering  
"I paid my last respects this morning on an early grave  
Already said goodbye...nothin' left to say  
A tiny church, a tiny town and not a tear was spent  
Not how I wanted it... I'm hating all of this"  
-Nickelback, "Woke Up This Morning"  
  
Ka-chink. A tiny flame spurted forth from the metal chamber, incinerating  
the cigarette's end. Embers formed and glowed, sending tendirls of smoke  
into his line of vision.  
  
With the cigarette lit and burning, Spike resumed his vigil. The hallway   
leading to the Bebop's private quarters him remained empty; no one had   
passed through in the last hour. He hadn't had any human contact  
( excluding Ed and Ein... they had been his only takers ) in the last 2 hours.  
That hadn't bothered him that much, except for the fact that there was one   
person who hadn't made themself visible. The damn door still hadn't been   
opened.  
  
It had been 3 whole days! Spike puffed away on the poor cig in agitation. It   
wouldn't have bothered him so much before, but being confined to the couch   
while he recuperated hadn't left him with much else to do. So, he had resigned  
himself to waiting - with no results. He was frustrated, tired, and hungry.  
  
Moreover, he was confused. What was the deal anyway? Nursing him back to  
health only to disappear from sight once he woke up; not one word, slap, nothing.  
What was with that?  
  
A beep from the kitchen threw Spike off of his train of thought. "83 hours."  
Amusement could be heard in the ex-cop's gruff tone.  
  
"Don't mock me, old man." Spike growled through clenched teeth. He absently  
reached down to tug on one of the many bandages adorning his torso. The  
blasted things itched like a mother...  
  
"No scratching!" A hand quickly shot out and smacked his away. "That's a   
no-no!"  
  
Spike looked up to shoot Edward a surly glare. "I wasn't."  
  
"No scratchy-scratch, Spike-person." she scolded with a grin. "Or else it'll   
never heal."  
  
She was right, he knew, but he growled just the same. "Don't you have   
something better to do?"  
  
"Nope." Edward answered. "Edward doesn't have Tomato to play with, it's   
being borrowed." Spike blinked at this. "Besides, Jet-papa says no bounties   
'til Spike-person gets better."  
  
Though Spike was well aware of that fact, along with the fact that Jet had  
been redubbed '-papa' following his adoption of Ed after the whole 'Earth inci-  
dent' as they had come to call it. However, it still aggravated Spike to no end  
that the rest of the crew was using his injuries as a get-out-of-work-free card.  
  
"Slackers," he muttered.  
  
"Don't you worry, Spike-person," Edward chirped. "Nurse Edward will not   
slack off on the job!"  
  
Spike paled slightly. "Th-that's not..."  
  
"No, Edward insists!" The young hacker latched onto him unaware of his  
gurgled protests of pain. "Edward will take good care of Spike-person   
so he doesn't die and leave Bebop-Bebop all alone!"  
  
Spike seemed slightly touched despite the new pain he felt from places he   
hadn't thought possible. Could you bruise your spleen?   
  
"Don't worry, Ed," he replied. "I'm not gonna go anywhere. I can barely walk,   
remember?" He vaguely remembered trying to run away from Edward when she  
had discovered how to use the welder.  
  
"Right," Edward nodded. "Does Spike-person need to..."  
  
Spike paused. "Need to what?"  
  
"See a man about a horse?"  
  
Spike nearly facefaulted. He could hear Jet guffawing from the kitchen.   
Somehow he'd find a way to take revenge. Getting an idea, he turned to   
Edward. "Hey, Ed, I need you to do me a favor."  
  
"Sure!"  
  
"I need to find me..." he paused for affect. "The moss that grows in the lowest  
cargo bay of the ship. Go!"  
  
He vaguely wondered if she would come across any living mutations like before,   
but before he could retract the request, Edward jumped up with an eager squeal,   
taking off.  
  
"Right-o!"  
  
Spike shook his head as he watched her retreating form. Once she was out of  
sight, he planted his hands down on the coffee table, bracing himself for the pain  
to come. With a few quick breaths, Spike forced himself to his feet, away from   
the couch and into he hallway.  
  
He had been putting it off long enough - it was time to find his wandering Romani.  
  
~End of Chapter 1 


	3. Entry 3

Disclaimer - I have no money for a witty disclaimer, which means I   
sho'nuff don't have enough money to buy Cowboy Bebop.  
  
"Look Me in the Eye"  
a product of Nataku-chan Incorporated ^_^  
  
Chapter 2 - Silent Discomfort"  
"Your rebirth can't hurt  
Branch out behind the pain  
Closure has come to me myself  
You will never belong to me"  
- Chevelle, "Closure"  
  
His life was in her hands, that much Spike was sure of. He  
had made it clear to Jet in unspoken terms that he was not to  
be followed. He had gone off to die and Jet knew it. Who  
else would refuse that fact other than Faye?  
  
With that last gunshot echoing through the ship, Spike feared  
Faye had hurt herself in her grief. While, that thought alone  
was a little unsettling for the bounty hunter to contend with,  
he knew that it had not been the first time she had done   
something so rash. However, he later discovered that not  
only had she followed him to Mars, but Faye had been the one  
to retrieve his beaten and bloodied body and bring it back to   
the Bebop.   
  
He assumed she had had help of course, but   
Spike knew it was Faye who had nursed him back to health.   
She had quieted him and soothed him, nurtured him and   
protected him from the nightmares. It was Faye who had   
given him the kiss.  
  
And he had called her Julia.   
  
Spike stopped in his tracks, feeling the guilt and shame  
burn through him. True was it that the two had flirted  
shamelessly with each other - moreso than they argued.  
It had almost been a game, a way the two could communicate  
with each other without having to reveal anything about them-  
selves. Never had it gone any further than that; in fact, if   
either one of them were to ever make a move on the other,  
Spike thought it would have been himself - perhaps in a   
drunken stupor or something of that nature.   
  
In fact, unknown to everyone but Spike, before he had left  
the Bebop, Spike had made a move to kiss Faye during their  
confrontation in the hallway. He hadn't really thought much  
would come from it and didn't think she would either - but  
her eyes had stopped him.  
  
People always seemed to be awed by his mismatched eyes,   
while he never thought much of them at all. However, nothing  
astounded and fascinated him more than Faye's eyes. For a   
woman who hid behind a plethora of masks and barricades,   
Faye's eyes did more to reveal her character than words ever   
could. They were truly windows to her soul; to tell how she felt,   
all one had to do look deep within those emerald depths and pray   
they didn't get swept away with them.  
  
When Spike had moved in to kiss Faye that day, she backed   
awaystartled. That didn't bother him until he really looked at   
her. What hehad found there shook him, though he didn't show   
it. Faye's eyes hadshown contempt, anger, and rage.... but what   
showed in the forefront was fear.  
  
~~~  
  
She had been afraid that day, deathly afraid. He was going to   
throw his life away, just as she had attempted, only she was  
powerless to stop him. She felt weak, cheap - his mind had been  
made up; there was no stopping him, no deterring him from his   
task. She had to let him go.  
  
But had she really? There had been only one bullet left in her   
clip when she followed after him. She hadn't expected there'd be   
anyone left to offer opposition; one bullet would be all she need to   
end it all by his side.  
  
In the end, that's all she had really wanted; to be near him. The   
moment she set eyes on him, Faye just knew she was what she   
needed. Not to be dept free, rolling in cash, she just needed to be  
loved by that man and that man alone - Spike Spiegel.  
  
However, it was the day he called her by the other woman's name  
did she realize she had lost. Fighting against hope, fighting against  
reality, Faye had hoped Spike would someday hold her in his heart,  
as she held him in hers.  
  
'Was that so freaking much to ask?' Faye sighed, rubbing her   
temples in frustration. Realizing she wasn't going to accomplish  
anything in this mindset, she got up from her perch on her bed  
and walked towards the door.   
  
With a push of a button, the door slid open revealing a bedraggled  
looking bounty hunter on the other side. Faye's game face quickly  
slid into place as she regarded him with a bland look. "G'mornin',  
Sunshine."  
  
Exhausted from the walk, and feeling like shit, Spike still managed  
a smirk - he had caught the slight glimmer of worry beneath the   
mask. He managed a raspy chuckle.  
  
"I should say the same to you." He noted the dark circles under  
her eyes. "You look like hell."  
  
Faye scowled, taking note of the dark path of color slowly forming  
next to his shoulder. "You might wanna take that back, cowboy..."  
She grasped his arm, leading him towards her bed.  
  
"Don'cha think you're moving a bit fast?" Spike joked. "We barely  
know each other."  
  
"Please," Faye eyed him dubiously, "Like I want you bleeding all   
over my bed." With a flick of her hand, she pushed him backwards  
onto her bed. Worry flickered in her eyes as he let out a hiss of pain.  
  
"Jeez, what'd you do now?"  
  
Spike smiled knowingly; that was Faye-lingo for 'Are you okay?'   
Making himself comfortable, he watched as Faye fumbled around  
in her closet - presumably looking for a first-aid kit. His attention  
soon wandered to the bed itself.  
  
His first thought was that he was surrounded in scrap. However,  
after a clser look, wires and cords, cameras and beta-tapes, along  
with pictures and papers containing numerous notes filled his vision.  
Next to his head sat a beta-tape player and Edward's Tomato.  
  
"I guess you're wondering what I've been doing these past three  
days." Faye replied, sitting down next to him with a pair of scissors  
and a roll of bandages.  
  
"The though may've crossed my mind once or twice," Spike   
answered carelessly as he watched her snip away at the bandage  
around his shoulder. "Where'd you get all this crap?"  
  
"Most of it's Ed's." she answered.  
  
"What's it for?" Spike asked, noting Faye's tenseness.  
  
"If you really want to know," she replied after a few moments of  
deliberation, laying on the whole 'I don't give a damn' act. "I'm   
trying to document some info."  
  
Spike gave her a 'You?!' look before coming back with, "What for?"  
  
"No reason." Faye replied moodily. "Do I have to have a reason for  
everything?"  
  
"No," Spike answered, feeling the absence of Faye's hands on his  
injured shoulder. Was it just the pain from the wound or did he   
actually feel a type of sudden longing?  
  
Faye's voice snapped him off that train of thought, "I mean, it's not   
like you care or anything."  
  
"I never said I didn't." Spike protested; the look on Faye's face  
made him amend his sentence. "What I meant..."  
  
"I'm done with your bandage." Her tone was icy, indicating the  
discussion was over. "Why don't you just leave now?"  
  
"But it's comfier here."  
  
Faye glared at him. "You're in my way, Lunkhead. Can't you   
seeI'm working?"  
  
"What're you working on?" Spike asked, an innocent grin   
plasteredacross his face.  
  
"Why should I tell you?"  
  
Spike's grin widened. "I'll leave if you tell me."  
  
Faye faltered for a moment, as if debating the thought. Did she  
really want him to leave? The thought alone registered a   
strange feeling in Spike.  
  
"All right," Faye replied after a long silence. "I've been doing a   
lot of thinking since you came back - don't laugh." Spike didn't   
flinch. "Remember when I told you my memories had come   
back?"  
  
"How could I forget?"  
  
Faye wasn't sure how to take that one, so she continued on.  
"Well, that wasn't exactly true. Y'see, not all my memories came  
back. I only have fragments; bits and pieces of memories - names,  
faces, places, stuff like that. They came at me so fast I couldn't  
handle them all. I was so afraid of what would happen if I lost  
my memories again so I decided to document what I could so-"  
  
"It would never be forgotten." Spike took his eyes off of Faye   
for a moment to stare at the jumble of mess around him.   
  
Faye had somehow managed to gather maps, scraps of old   
postcards, photos and other bits of info from various places   
that had survived the Gate Incident. He doubted many of them   
had anything to do with the bounty huntress in particular, but he   
was awestruck to see how much she had accumulated in such a   
short time.  
  
"So, what're you gonna do with all this?" he asked, fingering all  
that was left of a small button. He frowned slightly, looking down  
at it.  
  
What kind of place was 'Dine World'?  
  
"Well, I'm gonna have Ed scan it all and create a database for  
me." Faye answered. "So I can always look back on it."  
  
"Don't you think that's a bit pointless?"  
  
Faye flinched. "It may be to you, but not to me!" she exclaimed.  
"My memories are all I have! I won't lose them again!"  
  
"C'mon, Faye," Spike replied. "Those memories your holding onto  
are 50 some-odd years old, you have to let--"  
  
Fiery green eyes turned on his. "Don't you dare say anything to  
me about letting go!" Faye snapped. "You dragged yourself   
through Hell and back over people who should've been left buried   
in the past!"Spike flinched slightly at this. "You pompous jackass...   
you nearly died!"  
  
He remained quiet for some time. "And that bothers you?"  
  
"Damn straight it does!" she snapped, disregarding that little voice  
of reason in her head that was screaming at her to shut up. "Do  
you know how scared I was at the thought of never seeing you   
again? You and the Bebop are the only constants in my life and  
without you there -is- no Bebop!"  
  
Spike chuckled wryly, trying to shake the feeling the look in Faye's  
eyes were giving him. "I'm not that important, Faye..."  
  
"You are to me!"  
  
The world around them screeched to a halt as the last of Faye's  
words died off into the silence.  
  
"Damn, I need a cigarette."  
  
"You ain't the only one."  
  
~End of Chapter 2 


	4. Entry 4

Disclaimer - I have no money for a witty disclaimer, which means I   
sho'nuff don't have enough money to buy Cowboy Bebop.  
  
"Look Me in the Eye"  
a product of Nataku-chan Incorporated ^_^  
  
Chapter 3 - Saving Face  
"Still don't see much of me giving in   
Much too strong to live outside these sins   
Feeling like I'm taken lightly, think you see right through me   
Words of those that still despise me, think it's eating me you're dreaming"  
- Default, "Live a Lie"  
"You sure you can pull this off?" Jet's voice came through  
the comm. with hidden concern.  
  
"Yeah, Jet. One punk counterfeiter shouldn't pose much of  
a threat for an invalid like me," Spike muttered dryly. "I've  
been cooped up on the ship for weeks - cut me a break."  
  
"I think you've been cut up enough," Jet replied. "Try to   
come back in one piece."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Spike ended the transmission turning to his  
brooding companion, a little disappointed by her silence. She  
had yet to make one disparaging remark since they left the   
ship. Spike could only sigh inwardly.  
  
Ever since the scene in her room a week prior, the two had   
been on eggshells around each other. Several times Spike had   
tried to initiate conversations, arguments, even an occasional   
slinging of insults - still no results. No matter how hard he  
tried, Faye was slowly becoming a stranger to him; he   
didn't like it one bit.  
  
"You ready?" he asked.  
  
With a curt nod, Faye headed towards the bar entrance only  
to be stopped by Spike's hand.  
  
"Damnit, Faye," he snarled. "Haven't we had enough of this  
game?"  
  
"I'm not playing with you, Spike," Faye replied coolly. "I'm  
not that kind of woman."  
  
"Bullshit," he spun her around to face him. "Enough's enough;  
we're never gonna catch this bounty if you don't start talking to  
me again."  
  
"Let's get one thing straight," Faye's voice was full of venom.   
"You and I -never- talked. You and Jet made the plans; I was  
just supposed to try not to screw them up."  
  
Spike sighed heavily; she was right. "This is different, I'm   
actually asking your help on this one."  
  
Faye paused, looking away. "That's because you're still injured."  
  
"Not really..." A suggestive grin found its way across Spike's  
face. "Due to your nursing 'expertise', I managed a  
miraculous recovery."  
  
Red made its way across Faye's cheeks as she tried to keep  
her gaze away from his. "Jack ass."  
  
Spike smirked. It was her way of saying, 'you're welcome.'  
  
~~~  
  
"5 million, 9 thousand, 9 hundred and ninety nine... 6 million  
woolongs." With a final beep, the transfer was completed;  
the bounty reward now residing in the Bebop's account.  
Spike smirked in satisfaction; it felt good to be back in  
business.  
  
"Look at you, you can hardly contain yourself," Faye   
regarded him with a cool, but amused gaze. "So happy  
to be part of the action again."  
  
Spike gave her a mocking glare. "And I suppose you aren't  
thrilled to be 2 million woolongs richer."  
  
"So, I'm actually part of the cut this time?" Faye asked  
incredulously.  
  
"Why wouldn't you be?" Spike asked with a puzzled look on   
his face. "You earned it."  
  
A myriad of emotions passed across Faye's face before her   
usual, cool mask slipped back into place. "So, what do we do  
now?"  
  
"Well," Spike drawled. "Rendezvous with the Bebop isn't for  
another 4 hours... we could just hang out until then."  
  
"You and me?" Faye asked. "Together?"  
  
"Ain't so bad, is it?"  
  
"I guess not," she replied with a shrug. "What'd you have in  
mind?"  
  
Before he could answer, both their stomachs growled in  
unison. The two blushed and looked away from each other,  
laughing nervously.  
  
"I guess lunch is first on the agenda."  
  
"Smart move."  
  
== Flashback ==  
  
"I'm so tired..." she murmured. "I'm so tired of this life... I'm   
tired of being alone... I don't want to hurt anymore, Spike..."  
  
=====End=====  
  
Spike blinked, shaking the memory from his head. He hadn't  
thought of that moment for months - not since it had happened.  
Never had he seen Faye look so... tired. She had been ready to  
give up everything... it was a thought Spike just couldn't fathom.  
  
A spitfire like Faye throwing her life away? Maybe on some   
risky gamble, but not like that. The Faye he had known was a  
guns blazing, rockets red glaring, never say die type of fighter.  
Her type never gave up on life, never laid down and surrendered -  
never died - they just faded away...  
  
Even looking straight at her, laughing and and joking in between  
bites of her lunch as if she hadn't a single care at all, Spike couldn't  
even imagine a galaxy without the famous Poker Alice Faye   
Valentine; and that scared him. Somehow, deep down, Spike knew  
that behind all the smiles still lay the wretched soul he had seen  
that night on the deck of the Bebop.  
  
Despite what passion Faye did possess, that shadow of a woman  
Spike had seen was the strongest of all. She, though buried deep  
down, was the force behind all that was Faye. She dictated her  
thoghts and actions, controlled what she said or felt. This was   
the Faye behind the mask, the one who would lead to her downfall.  
  
Spike realized it was she who would have to be stopped.  
  
"Hey in there, Cowboy," Spiked looked up to see Faye watching  
him. "What's up with you? Ya barely touched your food?"  
  
In response to that, Spike began shoveling away ramen as quickly  
as possible. Faye regarded him with a look of disgust. When he   
finished, he regarded her curiously.  
  
Feeling self-conscious, Faye frowned back at him. "What?"  
  
Spike smiled. "Nothing." he replied. "It's just that you don't look  
half-bad when you're not yelling or screaming."  
  
Faye blinked a moment before frowning again. "Shut up."  
  
"Why? I'm being serious."  
  
Faye scoffed. "No, you're not."  
  
"Yeah, I am." Spike sat up, crossing himself. "I really mean it.  
Scout's Honor."  
  
"Like you were really a boy scout."  
  
Spike smirked. "The Syndicate had a Junior Battalion."  
  
Faye flinched at the mention of the S-word, but shook it off with  
a scowl. "Y'know, that's really sick. I suppose you ran around  
selling cookies or something."  
  
The lanky bounty hunter chuckled wryly. "I think it's best if I not  
tell you what we sold."  
  
Faye chuckled lightly. "I appreciate it."  
  
"I can if you want me to... but I think you'd be a bit grossed out."  
  
"No," Faye paused. "I mean, all this." She gestured to the table   
at which they were sitting. "You didn't have to do this."  
  
Spike smirked. "Y'know, I'd be more than happy to split the bill."  
  
"You idiot..." Faye growled, quickly calming herself. "I'm trying to  
thank you!"  
  
Spike looked slightly alarmed. "For what?"  
  
"I dunno," Faye answered, suddenly looking sheepish. "For being  
nice I guess."  
  
Spike rested his chin on his hand, grinning playfully. "Well, even  
a shrew like you deserves nice things every once in a while."  
  
Faye thwacked him over the head with her menu, though his poofy  
green hair cushioned the blow. "Lunkhead."  
  
~End of Chapter 3 


	5. Entry 5

Disclaimer - I have no money for a witty disclaimer, which means I   
sho'nuff don't have enough money to buy Cowboy Bebop.  
  
"Look Me in the Eye"  
a product of Nataku-chan Incorporated ^_^  
  
Chapter 4 -  
"Ten thousand years I've searched it seems and now  
Got to get to you, but I don't know how  
Call me, Call me  
Let me know you're all right"  
- Steve Conte, "Call me, call me"  
  
How little it had taken; Spike vaguely wondered if the Cosmos was  
playing some sort of joke on him. Surely things like this didn't happen  
on a normal basis - certainly not for Spike anyway. After all, those  
type of emotions had gotten him into a lot of trouble - how had he   
managed to land himself in the same situation all over again?  
  
It had started harmlessly enough. A simple lunch between two   
people; just the two of them joking around, slinging insults like the  
good old days. Before long, Faye had gotten bored and decided to  
go shopping. With nothing else to do, Spike had agreed to go with her.  
  
If only he had known what it would lead to...  
  
Looking back, Spike decided it really hadn't been that bad of a decision.  
Though he really didn't like Mars, there were certainly a lot of things  
to see. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he had actually enjoyed  
being in Faye's company.  
  
She had always seemed a bit of a pest in their days cooped up on the ship,  
but it seemed she had been very pleasant; she hadn't spent all of her time  
in clothes shops as he had expected. In fact, she had only done mostly  
window shopping, picking up little things here and there as they walked  
down the streets.  
  
"I don't get you." Spike replied as they passed another store.  
  
"What?" Faye asked, glancing at a pair of shoes as they passed by.  
  
"You have a crap load of clothes on the ship, but I haven't seen you wear  
any of them."  
  
"I do so wear them" Faye replied indignantly. "It's not my fault you've   
never taken the time to notice."  
  
Spike held his hands up in defense. "Fair enough." The pair continued on   
a little ways before Spike stopped in front of a large store window.  
  
"What's up?" Faye asked, looking back at him.  
  
"You'd look pretty good in that." Spike answered, gesturing to the outfit  
displayed in the windom. It was a designed after chinese garb, a   
sleeveless purple blouse with black floral print and trim with a high collar.  
The blouse parted at the waist, forming a split that stopped mid-thigh.   
With the top went a pair of tight-fitting, form-fitting slacks and a pair of  
black mary janes.  
  
"I dunno..." Faye mused. "It's really not me."  
  
Spike smirked. "And what you've got on is?" Faye shot him a surprised,   
but dirty look. "C'mon, you can do better'n this."  
  
"Says you, the Grand Pumba of Fashion..."  
  
"Just try it on, would ya?" Spike asked. "It won't kill you."  
  
"All right, all right..." Faye muttered.  
  
Spike smirked triumphantly as he led her into the store where she   
selected the outfit and skulked into a dressing room.  
  
"Need a hand?" he asked.  
  
"Sure," came the voice from within. "Come in here and I'll show you  
where you can shove it."  
  
Spike was tempted to barge in, but decided better of it. The woman did  
have a gun on her...  
  
'It's not like I wanna see her without clothes on...' he thought to himself.  
  
~Or do you...?~ Another voice in his head responded.  
  
'Hell no! Where'd that one come from?!'  
  
"Well?"  
  
"That was fas--" Spike's words died in his throat as he got a good look at  
Faye. Though the outfit itself had been simple in design, it succeeded in  
accenting every curve Faye possessed, proving to be more flattering than  
her 'whore suit' could ever hope to be.  
  
Spike wasn't sure if his mouth had gone slack, dry, or both.  
  
"What's wrong with it?" Faye asked. "I look stupid, right?"  
  
"...no.. No, you look fo-innne..." Spike stopped, clearing his throat. "You   
look all right."  
  
"It makes me look... ordinary." Faye frowned, looking herself over in a   
mirror. "How'm I s'posed to pull with this?"  
  
"Is that all that matters to you?" Spike asked with a frown, shooting a glare  
at a few passersby who had stopped to gawk at Faye.  
  
"It's all I've got." Faye answered quietly, as if it shamed her to admit it,  
even to him.  
  
"You've got to be kidding me," She gave him a confused look. "You're  
more than just a tight ass and a pair of breasts-"  
  
~You really think so?~ that voice taunted.  
  
'Shut. Up.' "And any guy who thinks that ought to get his ass kicked."  
  
Faye remained quiet for a moment. "You mean... you don't think that?"  
  
"Of course not!" Spike exclaimed, seemingly appalled that she would   
even think such a thing. Still, Faye couldn't help but notice a little pink  
tinting his cheeks. "If I did, I woulda screwed you ages ago."  
  
Faye fought the urge to laugh. "Oh yeah? So why haven't you then?"  
  
Spike smirked. "Cuz I know you'd kick my ass."  
  
"Damn straight!" Faye laughed, turning back towards the changing  
room. Before stepping back in however, she kissed him lightly on the  
lips.  
  
Bewildered, Spike gingerly touched his lips, remembering the butterfly  
kiss she had placed there weeks before.  
  
"Wha..." Spike's brain wouldn't allow him to articulate any words.  
  
"Because I wanted to." she replied, answering his unspoken  
question before disappearing back into the booth.  
  
And just like that, Spike realized that without knowing it, Faye had  
managed to bag him hook line and sinker.  
  
He sunk down into a chair, a finger still to his lips. "Aw, shit..."  
  
~End of Chapter 5 


	6. Entry 6

Disclaimer - I do not own Cowboy Bebop. However, I do on Bowcoy Pebob.  
::grins::  
  
Chapter 6 - Women, Guns, and Alcohol just don't mix  
"The trouble in your head  
We're back to back in bed  
I couldn't read the tea leaves cuz I've never been well read"  
- John Faye Powetrip, "Miscatch 22"  
  
~~~  
"Che…" Faye bit her lip in agitation. He was looking at her again, she was   
sure of it! Yet, every time she turned her head, his focus was always some   
place else. He'd be picking at a hangnail, staring at the TV screen, paging   
through the magazine draped across his chest, anything that didn't involve   
making eye contact with her.  
  
'What's with him…?' she thought to herself. It had been this way for weeks   
straight. She hadn't done anything remotely wrong that she had been aware   
of. Sure, they still bickered and fought, went on bounties and all that, but   
when it came to lulls like this, the man was insufferably indifferent.  
  
No… indifferent wasn't the right word. There - he was doing it again! Faye   
glanced back at him out of the corner of her eye. The look on his face…   
she couldn't place it. She'd never seen anyone looking at her that way,   
especially not him.  
  
"Hey, Faye."  
  
Spike's gaze flew quickly back to the television screen. Faye sighed inwardly   
before turning to the owner of the voice. "Yeah, Jet?"  
  
The ex-cop was giving her a suffering look. "Y'know," he replied evenly, his   
eyebrow twitching slightly. "If you're finished with those plates, you can   
get'em off the table."  
  
The 'now' that usually followed that sentence was painstakingly left out this   
time. Faye really didn't care, though; it was very hard to take someone like   
Jet seriously when they were wearing a light pink apron. However, she had   
other things on her mind, and decided to submit gracefully.  
  
"You got it, Jet." She stood up, collecting her empty plate. Grabbing   
Spike's as an afterthought - he hadn't cleared it, but he didn't object to her   
taking it either - she walked into the ship's kitchen area leaving the two men   
alone.  
  
"An' don't just leave them there, they don't wash themselves!" Jet called after   
her.  
  
"Yes, mom," a voice drawled over his shoulder.  
  
Jet sighed, yanking his apron off as he dropped down into a chair. He   
grumbled something about women before glancing at his silent partner.   
Slight confusion crossed his features; usually the lanky one would have   
added in some sort of insult. He'd found that he'd been like this for quite   
some time - it was starting to freak him out. "What's up with you?"  
  
Hidden behind the magazine's cover came the muffled reply, "Reading."  
  
The ex-cop eyed him dubiously. Mars' 'Home and Garden' just didn't seem   
like something the lanky bounty hunter would be interested in. "Really…?   
Finding it a good read?"  
  
Peeking over the top edge, a pair of auburn eyes gave him a dry look.   
"There's an article in here about bonsai maintenance," he responded lightly.   
"You might find it interesting."  
  
"Thanks, but I already read it," he replied, snatching it away to toss it on the   
table. "So, what's eating you?"  
  
Spike folded his arms behind his head, shrugging nonchalantly. "Nothin',"  
  
"Come on, Spike," Jet prodded. "I normally wouldn't prod about this, but   
somethin's up - I know it. So, why don't you just come clean." There was   
silence. "Don't tell me it's woman troubles."  
  
The green haired bounty hunter tensed slightly. "I guess you could say   
something like that."  
  
Jet blinked in surprise. "Really?" It appeared he knew the ex-gangster   
better than he thought. "So, I take it you met somebody."  
  
Spike sat up, scratching his head absently. The old sonuvagun was still as   
sharp as ever, he noted with some resentment. His eyes crossed slightly in   
frustration. Damn… how could he have let something like this happen…?   
Hadn't he learned his lesson yet?  
  
Spike had met someone - not usually something to make a big fuss over.   
However, noting the look of partially concealed distress on his partner's face,   
Jet frowned slightly. So, this was serious, huh? "I take it you've fallen for   
her hard, huh?" he asked.  
  
Auburn eyes regarded him seriously, looking almost like a caged animal's.   
"Lock, stock, and barrel."  
  
Somewhere off in the kitchen, a plate dropped and shattered.  
  
~~~  
  
A fist full of woolongs hit the table with a slam, the bills clenched tightly   
within a shaking fist. A bartender looked up from the glass he was currently   
wiping clean with a look of curiosity on his face.  
  
His eyes lit up in surprise. Standing before him was a complete knockout;   
this woman was gorgeous! Full, red lips, creamy smooth skin, a trim   
curvaceous body… she had to be an angel in disguise! That, or a devil  
ready to take his soul. Oh well...  
  
"So, what can I do for ya, mis-," He trailed off, looking at her face. She was   
more beautiful up close, yes - but she had the saddest green eyes he had   
ever seen.  
  
"A shot of scotch," she replied softly, releasing the fistful of money. The   
coins rattled on the bar's surface before coming to a stop.  
  
He glanced at the clock - it was a bit early for happy hour. His gaze went   
back to his current customer; the girl was dressed plainly in a sweater and   
a pair of tight-fitting jeans. Aside from her looks, she looked complete   
ordinary - except for that look on her face. It was almost as if someone   
had told her the world had ended.  
  
"One scotch, coming right up, miss." He then set to work, setting a glass   
in front of her.  
  
She didn't respond after that, watching only the liquid run into her glass.   
Once filled, she picked it up, tossing it back in one gulp. She didn't even   
flinch.  
  
"Well, now," the bartender awed. "You look as though you can hold your   
liquor."  
  
"Yeah, I'm a tough broad," she answered roughly. "I'm not the kind of girl   
you take home to mother."  
  
The bartender smirked wryly. "My mom's been dead now near 10 years," he   
replied lightly. "Though she could knock'em back just like you just did."  
  
The woman snorted lightly, a dark grin forming on her heart-shaped face.   
"Really now?"  
  
"Yeah, she was somethin'," the bartender replied wistfully. "Didn't take crap   
from nobody - that she didn't. She could tangle with the best of 'em and then   
come back and make one helluva pot roast for us boys at home." He   
chuckled in remembrance. "It's just a shame my old man didn't   
appreciate'er for what she was - walked out on her an' the rest of us when I   
was 14."  
  
A wry chuckle came forth. "That just goes to show ya," Another woolong   
slammed down on the counter. "Men are pigs."  
  
The bartender smirked lightly. So that's how it was, huh? Being beautiful   
had it's price, he supposed; the one's who had a brain on their shoulders got   
treated just like the rest of the lot. "What'sa matter, your man doggin' ya?"  
  
"He's not mine," Her expression darkened slightly. "He never was mine…   
never will be."  
  
~~~  
  
Spike dug his hands deeper into his jacket pockets. He'd searched every   
casino in a 15-mile radius and still hadn't come up with anything.  
  
'Damn it… where could that shrew of a woman have gotten to…?' he frowned   
to himself. She'd gotten up and left the ship without a word to anyone.   
Normally, when she'd gotten fed up she'd leave some sort of sappy,   
dramatic note declaring that she'd never return - only to show up a day or   
two later with empty pockets and a busted up zipcraft.  
  
Spike stopped in his tracks. "Does this mean that she's not coming   
back…?" he wondered out loud.   
  
But why? It just didn't make any sense. Things had been going on like   
usual; an argument here or there, but nothing that would make her want to   
leave. He couldn't understand it… hadn't things gotten back to normal   
between them?  
  
~ Maybe that's it…~ that awful little noise nagged. ~ You're back to   
normal… a clean bill of health… no more injuries to speak of…~  
  
A frown crossed the bounty hunter's features, his auburn eyes scanning   
the crowds of people on the street around him. There was still no sign of   
her. 'Yeah… so?'  
  
~ Now that you're all healed… what more reason did she have to stay? ~  
  
He growled in frustration, shoving that nagging little voice down with a   
mental punch to the jaw. 'Shit… when did I get to be so frickin' insecure…?'   
He scanned the area once again. "Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to call Jet   
to see if she came back yet…" He patted his pockets only to find that he   
was lacking his communicator. A sweatdrop formed on the back of his   
head.  
  
'Shit… must've left it on the ship… need phone…' He spied a bar across   
the street and headed there, hoping to find a phone he could use.  
  
~ Along with a couple drinks to soothe your broken heart…~  
  
'Shut. UP.'  
  
~End of Chapter 6  
  
Author's Notes -  
  
Well, hoped you liked Chapter 6. Sorry I haven't updated in a while,  
working on Don't You Dare with Miss Chang Po has been taking up a lot  
of my focus recently. (Go read and review!) Plus, the idea had worked  
up for this fic changed a bit seeing how the events were playing themselves  
out. But, I suppose that's what happens when a fic takes on a mind of its  
own.  
  
But anyways, I like mixing things up a bit, so expect to find a bit more  
humor interspersed here and there... (what genre did I put this under again..?)  
Don't worry, it's still a FxS romance, albeit a slow one... rest assured you  
won't be displeased.  
  
And also, I haven't decided when, but I have started work on the sequel to  
'That's Why They Call it the Blues', entitled 'Another Burnt-out Star'. The  
title may need a little work, but if you have any suggestions, send'em my   
way.  
  
What else was I gonna say... hm... oh yeah! Thanks for all the awesome  
reviews you guys have sent! I'm really glad you guys are enjoying my  
work. ::sniffles:: Reviews make me so happy...   
  
Oh yeah, and before I go, if Ama Arcus happens to be reading this,  
UNMEI!  
  
Remember the three R's of Fanfiction, everyone! =) 


	7. Entry 7

Disclaimer - Bowcoy Pebob is owned by me, Cowboy Bebop is not.  
Any more stupid questions? ::brandishes a shiny mallet::  
  
Chapter 7 - Bottom of the Barrel  
"Somewhere in this darkness there's a life that I can't find  
Maybe its too far away...  
Or maybe I'm just blind"  
- 3 Doors Down, "When I'm gone"  
  
The bartender, and owner of the establishment, Joe, a man in his mid-forties,  
glanced up as the door swung open for the second time in the past two   
hours. He glanced at the clock once again…  
  
'Only 2:30…? What's up with these people?' He glanced at the prospective   
customer, a lanky young man with poofy green hair. 'Hey… s'pose I can't   
complain… business is business…' He put on a grin. "Hey, buddy, what   
can I get ya?"  
  
Stepping up to the bar, the young man opened his mouth to speak before   
setting sights on the room's other occupant. The young woman from before,   
lay half draped over the counter surrounded by shot glasses. There was no   
doubt that she was a beautiful woman, but it was hard to view her as such   
when her mouth was slightly agape and her eyes swirled like pinwheels.  
  
Joe sighed heavily. It wasn't as if he was going to turn her down after she   
asked for the rest of the scotch. Granted, she'd been very polite about it   
and had paid for the bottle, but it hadn't really helped that she'd had a Glock   
90 pointed at his head.  
  
Guns, alcohol, and emotional women didn't mix, he'd always said. He'd   
learned that from his mother - bless her heart.  
  
He turned back to the man and was about to ask him what he wanted when   
he noted the astonished - and quite comical - look on the man's face.  
  
He was gawking at the young woman with an almost horrified, yet relieved   
look on his face. "Fa-Faye?!"  
  
Joe blinked, glancing at the woman. So, Faye was her name, huh? It   
suited her. However, his intrigued look turned into one of worry when the   
woman did not respond. He tapped her lightly, almost hesitantly. "Hey,   
um… lady…?" he asked. "Your friend is here…" He glanced at the man   
standing over her worriedly. "What's your name, pal?"  
  
The man paused lightly. "Lee."  
  
"Okay… Yeah, your old pal Lee is here to see you."  
  
Faye jerked slightly, snapping to attention as she glared at the young man   
with unseeing eyes. Both men jerked back in fear as she seemed to be   
regaining her bearings.   
  
A red lacquered came flying out of nowhere. "SPIKE SPIEGEL, YOU   
JACKASS!"  
  
Joe the bartender could only blink in surprise as the young man he assumed   
to be named Spike hit the ground with a thud, followed shortly after by the   
woman passing out on top of him.  
  
He sighed heavily, glancing at the two who lay there swirly-eyed. Shrugging   
in a noncommittal way, he set about clearing the counter. "Well… Ma did   
say I shoulda been psychiatrist…"  
  
~~~  
  
After several hours - and several Prairie Oysters - Faye was back to her   
normal, irritable self… along with a helluva hangover.  
  
She leaned forward, pressing her head against the cool surface of the table   
at which she and Spike were currently seated. "Aw… damn… my head…"   
she moaned piteously. "It huurtsss."  
  
"Well, down a bottle of scotch and that'll do it to ya…" Spike murmured,   
holding an icepack over his face. He'd probably still get a bruise, but he   
decided not to bring it up - she looked guilty enough as it was.  
  
She moaned once again, holding a hand over her temple. "Shit… what the   
hell was I thinking…?"  
  
Spike shrugged absently. This was the woman he was in love with… deep   
down he wanted to laugh out loud. "Something must've ticked you off enough  
to get piss drunk in the middle of the day…" He trailed off, wondering what   
had done so himself.  
  
Faye looked up, her normally bright green eyes slightly hazed over. "Yeah…"   
She paused, a frown passing over her features. "I don't remember what   
though…"  
  
Spike chuckled. "Well… problem solved…" 'For now…' She gave him a wry   
smirk, his mind wandered back to the last time he had seen her in such a   
state.  
  
~ "I'm so tired… I'm so tired of this life... I'm tired of being alone... I don't want   
to hurt anymore, Spike..." ~  
  
He couldn't let that woman come back... no matter what it took.  
  
A moment of clarity came to Faye, allowing her to put herself into a sitting   
position without setting the world spinning. She took the time to glance at   
Spike, who was staring at her with a sad, sort of wistful expression. Just   
seeing him with such an expression dampened her spirits lightly, nearly   
reminding her why she was in such a state. However, the thought vanished   
when he came out of his trance, glancing away quickly.  
  
"Where were you…?"  
  
Spike paused, turning back to her. "Huh?"  
  
Faye regarded him quietly, a look of child-like curiosity in her eyes. "You   
were somewhere else just a moment ago…" She leaned towards him   
slightly.   
  
He tensed, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. She looked so   
cute like that…  
  
"Yeah, I guess I was."  
  
"Don't do it again…" Her voice was suddenly pleading. "Don't leave me all   
alone…"  
  
He blinked, staring at her in wonder. She looked completely serious. 'It's   
gotta be the alcohol still talkin'… it's like she's having a totally different   
conversation…'  
  
"Please don't…" Her hands gripped the table tightly. "I don't want to be   
alone anymore…"  
  
~ "I don't want to hurt anymore…" ~  
  
This was definitely getting too heavy. Spike stood up. "Maybe we oughta   
head back," he replied lamely. "You probably need your rest."  
  
Faye's hand caught his as he pushed away from the table. Spike glanced   
down at her in curiosity. Her green eyes suddenly seemed lucid again.   
"We're being watched…"  
  
~~~  
  
After Faye's admission, the two decided it was best that they head back   
towards the ship. After paying for the six Prairie Dogs and thanking Joe for   
the ice, the two exited the bar and headed out into the street. Sure enough,   
they were being followed. Three figures exited the bar several moments later,   
trailing behind them a block or two.  
  
Faye walked alongside Spike, deftly dropping her wallet on the pavement.   
As planned, Spike stopped, turning to pick it up - catching a perfect look of   
their pursuers.  
  
"How many?" Faye asked.  
  
"Three," Spike answered, auburn eyes darkening a few shades. "All armed."  
  
"Just three…?" She bit her lip in confusion. "I thought there were four---!"   
She stumbled over a crack in the pavement, saved from kissing the concrete   
only because of Spike wrapping his arms securely around her.  
  
"Maybe that fourth guy was just that scotch talkin'," he said with a smirk.  
  
To his surprise, she only smiled up him. 'There's the Spike I know…' she   
thought to herself, relief flooding through her. Then realizing the   
compromising position they were in - her languidly draped over him with his   
arms wrapped around her waist - she straightened herself, pulling away.   
She was surprised, however, to feel a slight resistance.  
  
On the inside, Spike was slightly disappointed with himself for not noticing   
their audience earlier. Was the Great Spike Spiegel losing his edge… all   
because of a woman? 'It's always because of a woman…' he thought bitterly   
to himself. And yet, holding her like that felt right… he didn't care about the   
three men following them or anything else at that moment. It was then that   
his hold on Faye had tightened once she started to pull away. He didn't want   
the moment to end yet!  
  
"What're you doing…?" Faye asked hazily, resigning herself to leaning on   
him for support. The sidewalk suddenly didn't look too safe, what with it   
constantly tipping and all.  
  
"Trying to make us less conspicuous," he murmured. "You didn't leave your   
gun at the bar, did you?"  
  
"Don't be stupid!" she snapped at him, wincing when her voice got too loud.   
She lowered the decibels a bit. "I keep it with me all the time."  
  
Spike found himself smirking despite the situation. "Even in the shower?"  
  
She flushed slightly, staring at her feet. "Hell yeah… I remember that time   
you nearly walked in on me… pervert."  
  
"Me, too…" Was it just Faye, or did he almost sound wistful? "Can you   
even shoot straight, or do I have to worry about losing a toe?"  
  
"I can," she replied wearily. "But not as accurate…" Her expression turned   
slightly apologetic.  
  
Spike smiled, ruffling her hair lightly. "Don't worry about it," he replied lightly.   
"I'll take care of everything."   
  
Before Faye could question what he meant, Spike began quickening their  
pace ever so slightly. It came as no surprise that the three figures began to  
match them. After going a few blocks, they made a turn into an alleyway that   
led into a less inhabited part of the city. Glancing back, Spike made sure   
they were still being followed.  
  
It seemed as though their pursuers were still eager to oblige them.  
  
"Okay, Faye," Spike replied, hooking his arm underneath hers as he reached   
for his gun. "We're gonna make a run for it…"  
  
"No, Spike, I can't---"  
  
"Too bad - let's go!!" With that, he took off running, dragging Faye behind   
him.  
  
The three men started in surprise.  
  
"Shit! They're onto us!"  
  
"After'em!" Immediately they took off in hot pursuit.  
  
~ End of Chapter 7  
  
Author's Notes -  
  
Aghh... sorry, didn't mean to end it there, but I couldn't think of anything  
else to put at that particular moment.  
  
So, as it stands, Faye and Spike are being pursued by three suspicious  
men. Who are they and what do they want from them? Will the two  
bounty hunters be able to shake them off and get back to the ship  
safely, or will Faye accidentally shoot Spike in a drunken rage?  
  
FxS angsters - (hehe, angsters) Hey, that might work!  
  
Nah... that's not how the story's going, so don't worry. We'll get into   
all that angsty goodness later on. And yes, the relationship conflict  
between Faye and Spike will be kicking it up a notch in the next few chaps,  
I promise you. I don't want it to be too rushed, but unlike TWTCITB, I  
really don't want 20-something chapters... though I've never been able to  
do less than that... sigh.... I'll learn.  
  
But anyways, keep reading, writing, and reviewing everyone! Ja ne!   
  
Nataku-chan ^_^ 


	8. Author's Note Read for info on Updates

6/02/03  
  
I'm such a dork for wanting to do this. but oh well. I've noticed how in many of their fics, authors take the time to comment to the reviews they've received. So, seeing how appreciative of any feedback I receive, I decided to do the same. Granted, my fics never seem to have enough room for author feedback, so I've decided to do it here.  
  
Don't get discouraged yet! There's a spoiler at the bottom. well, not really. but there are also my shameless little plugs, too!  
  
So, for those of you who were a little confused/disappointed/other about the abrupt ending of chapter 7, I would like to first take this moment to apologize. At the time, I was directing most of my focus to my joint fic, "Don't You Dare". Since, Miss Chang Po and I have now have Writer's Block for the next chapter of that fic (go fig) I wrote three more chapters for "Look Me in the Eye".  
  
But. (there's always a but), unfortunately, my personal comp is being a pain in the ass. You see, I write on that computer, and then transfer it via disk to the family computer that has Internet access. Unfortunately, my computer is sucking its last breaths, and any disk I use on that computer will only work on that computer, and nowhere else. It also doesn't help that the family computer is even reading ANY disks. ::sigh::  
  
In other words. it might be a while with the updates on ANY of my fics. ::double sigh::  
  
Anyway! Back to the task at hand!  
  
Sexy Vixen - Thanks so much for you numerous reviews! I think yours are the most I've received at one time. I'm so glad you like it so much. ::grins:: By the way, 'seeing a man about a horse' is just another way of saying you have to pee. I have a million weird little sayings like that. its hereditary. Some people see it as a curse. ::shrugs:: My kin is weird like that.  
  
Flawless Imperfection - Aieee! I'm glad to have more fans! It's funny how I used to be so opposed to angst, and yet I'm being told how good I am at it. But like I said, I'll try my darndest to get more chaps updated! More angst to come. but all in all, I insist upon happy endings. I'm a sap, I can't help it.  
  
Tina - Who's following them you ask? Don'cha worry, it'll all be explained in the next few chaps.  
  
Sara - Thanks, I try to keep everybody true to their character in the show. While falling madly in love with one another is cool, I like to think that SpikexFaye pairings have to be filled with lots and lots of conflict. ::grins sadistically::  
  
Neko-chan - Glad you're liking it, it's reassuring to know I've pretty much hit the nail on the head while still managing to get reactions from you readers. Don't go into withdrawal on me now. I'd feel guilty.  
  
Bec126 - Thanks, chaps 8-10 will be up as soon as my comp starts cooperatin' again! Pray for me!  
  
Blooknaburg - I love your penname by the way. ::giggles:: I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows that little phrase. I'd have felt really stupid if no one got it. But, on the other. I guess it would've been okay. it is Ed who's saying it, after all. Thanks for your encouragement - I hope my following chaps continue to live up to your expectations.  
  
Arsinoe - Ahhhh! Somebody who shows appreciation for my music choices! I hadn't thought of using 'Stellar', but I do have something in mind for 'Pardon Me' (I love that song. I blast it all the time in my car =P ) And besides, what's Cowboy Bebop without some cool music to go along with it, right? If you've got any more suggestion, feel free to send'em my way.  
  
Lady Razorsharp - Aaaiieee! I'm glad you like my fic - 'specially since I'm such a big fan of your work (though I don't review that often. now I feel guilty. your fics are sooo much better than mine) Actually, seeing it in live action isn't all that odd. that's how I often come up with scenes for my fics. Especially in the café scene - though I think the animation for the show is great - sometimes it doesn't really seem to capture everything that's goin' on, y'know? But it's so cool you're liking it so far, thanks for the awesome reviews! Keep'em coming! ::staggers as ego continues to swell::  
  
Diana Moon - I'm glad you're liking this fic; I also hope that you enjoyed "Jumper" as well. That fic, this one, and 'While You Were Sleeping' all tie together, and as per a reader's request, I am seriously considering writing a sequel to WYWS. Feedback anyone?  
  
Moonwhisper - Aiee. the praise. is too much! Nah, not really; I'm so glad you love my fic, though. I hope you love it even more in the upcoming chapters!  
  
And like I said, I will have chapters 8-10 out as soon as possible. I probably shouldn't say this, as it would probably give away some of the plot. but while this fic has taken on a mind of its own, the original idea for this fic - I'm sure - has been done many times before. The story will be focusing on Faye for a bit, while the emotional conflict between she and Spike won't really start to brew for few chapters to come.  
  
However, rest assured, as I have done with "That's Why They Call it the Blues", I will strive to take the 'already been done' and turn it into the 'completely unexpected plot-twist'. I hope..  
  
Also, I plan on starting on the sequel to TWTCB sometime in the next month. it's been waiting long enough, right?  
  
So, future titles to look for include..  
  
"Just Another Burnt Out Star" - Sequel to "That's Why They Call it the Blues"  
summary - Spike's Syndicate past comes back to bite him in the ass.  
  
"Tandemonai" - An AU Inu Yasha fic, written solely by me this time  
summary - Kagome climbs out of the while to find herself in a Sengoku  
Jidai she hoped she'd never see.  
  
and last but not least.  
  
"Sleeping Awake" - Sequel to "While You Were Sleeping". and no, it's not a songfic.  
summary - What if Spike hadn't been unconscious? 


	9. Entry 8

Chapter 8 - Separated  
  
"Long lost words whisper slowly to me  
  
Still can't find what keeps me here  
  
When all this time I've been so hollow inside  
  
"I know you're still there"  
  
Evanescence, "Haunted"  
  
"Yo."  
  
  
  
Jet Black, once a very renowned officer in the ISSP, gave a suffering glance   
  
down at the communicator in his hand. The image jarred and wavered, scrambled   
  
and rearranged itself – but the ex-cop accredited that to the owner of the   
  
communicator on the other end.  
  
  
  
…Especially when it's owner was replaced by air as the device was dropped   
  
to theground and then picked back up again.   
  
  
  
Jet sighed to himself, exiting his bonsai room and heading up to the ship's bridge.   
  
It was just too much… didn't they have any idea how expensive that stuff was to replace? How had he believed that his two wayward companions wouldn't get into   
  
some shit?  
  
  
  
"I thought you two already bagged the bounty," he murmured, running a hand over   
  
his head.  
  
  
  
"We did," replied the lanky bounty hunter on the opposite end with a smirk on his   
  
face. Kami only knew what he found funny about the whole situation – and Jet was   
  
quite sure he didn't want to know either.  
  
  
  
"So, what's going on? You two get into a brawl or something?"  
  
  
  
Spike glanced over his shoulder at the three men pursuing them through the   
  
alleyways. No matter how many corners they cut, how many buildings they   
  
ducked into, they always seemed to be on their trail.   
  
  
  
"I dunno, Jet," he answered. "But they sure are persistent."  
  
  
  
Faye, managing to keep up with him stride for stride, turned and pulled out her   
  
gun, firing a stray shot in their general direction. It ricocheted off the wall, sending   
  
the three hiding for cover. The two bounty hunters used their distraction to duck   
  
into an empty building.  
  
  
  
Quick to act, Spike slammed the door shut behind them, pushing an abandoned   
  
file cabinet in front of it just as it was nearly rammed open. "Very persistent," he mused. He then turned to Faye, whom was leaning against the wall several feet   
  
away. "I thought you said you could shoot straight?"   
  
  
  
The bounty huntress turned to face the wall, hoping the cool surface would mitigate   
  
the pain from her colossal headache. However, the incessant banging coming from   
  
the door behind them was not helping any. At her companion's remark, she shot   
  
him a surly glare. Before she could speak however, the banging stopped.  
  
  
  
Spike turned back towards the door. "Shit, they're probably looking for another   
  
way in."  
  
  
  
"You think they'll find one?"  
  
  
  
"There's gotta be more than one way in," Jet remarked. "Otherwise, it'd be violating   
  
fire safety codes."  
  
  
  
Faye looked slightly green again. "Maybe that's why it was condemned?"  
  
  
  
At that, a large piece of plaster broke free from its hold, hurtling down towards   
  
them. First to spot it, Spike reacted by jumping forward and pushing Faye out of   
  
the way. The two slammed into and through a nearby wall, hitting the floor in a pile   
  
of dust and worn out plaster.  
  
  
  
Hearing the commotion, Jet stared down at the small hand unit in concern. Dust   
  
and debris littered down from the sky, clouding up the image. "Spike? Faye?" he   
  
called out. "You okay? Answer me?" There was no response. "SPIKE! FAYE!"  
  
~~~  
  
Spike stared down at his partner with a mixture of amusement and relief. It had certainly done a number on him to wake up to find the woman unconscious in his   
  
lap surrounded by dirt and debris. He didn't seem to mind at first, but realizing the  
  
comprimising situation they would be in once she awoke, he moved to waked her.   
  
However, when she didn't respond, an image of gun shower and doves had imme-  
  
diately come to mind, sending the lanky bounty into a frenzy, doing everything in   
  
his power to revive the woman.   
  
  
  
He had even gone so far as to attempt mouth to mouth resuscitation.  
  
  
  
Feeling not only the warmth of a body on top of her, but a pair of lips (Spike's were  
  
surprisingly soft) upon hers, Faye awoke with a start. Upon seeing that Spike was   
  
the owner of the lips over hers, she jumped back as if he had been attempting to   
  
bite her. After that, she promptly hurled.  
  
  
  
Chuckling to himself, Spike let out a bemused sigh. And this was the woman he   
  
had fallen in love with.  
  
  
  
Faye, on the other hand, felt miserable. Not only had she gone and gotten herself   
  
piss drunk, but she managed to get herself into a dangerous situation she had no control over, all the while making a fool of herself in front of Spike. To top it all off,   
  
she had no recollection of why she had decided to go out and get drunk in the first place!  
  
  
  
Once she finished relieving the contents of her stomach – six Prairie dogs were supposed to make you feel better? – she let out a low moan, resting her forehead in   
  
her hands on the floor.  
  
'Whoever you guys are out there,' she groaned to herself. 'Shoot me now and get   
  
it over with…nothing can be worse than this…' She trailed off as she felt a hand rest itself on her back, moving in slow, rhythmic circles. Turning her head slightly to the side, she cracked open one eye to see Spike behind her, massaging her back gently with one hand.   
  
  
  
Upon making eye contact, he offered a sheepish smirk.  
  
  
  
She blinked. 'Spike… sheepish…?'  
  
  
  
"I woulda offered to pull your hair back out of your face, but it's too short for that." he  
  
replied softly. "Plus, that headband of yours kinda does the job for me."  
  
  
  
Faye gave him a half-hearted glare. "There's nothing wrong with my hair." she   
  
muttered. "Or my headband."  
  
  
  
"No," Spike murmured. In a totally uncharacteristic move, he reached out, pulling   
  
the yellow headband off her head. Free from its restraint, her violet tresses fell   
  
forward, framing her face even more so than before.  
  
  
  
Stunned by the action, Faye could only blink in surprise.  
  
  
  
Spike regarded her thoughtfully for a moment before breaking out into a grin. "You   
  
look better like that."  
  
  
  
Still, all Faye could do was gawk in surprise. Again, Spike was surprising her with   
  
his behavior. Before, Faye had always prided herself with the ability to read the   
  
lanky bounty hunter's actions. However, he had been so unpredictable as of late –   
  
what with the bounty, the lunch, the shopping – Faye found herself wondering when   
  
the aliens had abducted the real Spike Spiegel and what they had done with his   
  
brain. Had they dissected it, or had they merely jettisoned it into space as   
  
worthless material?  
  
  
  
Still, staring at the man before her with the wide grin on his face, an odd fluttering   
  
feeling began to rise in Faye's chest. She had first assumed it to be another bout   
  
of nausea, but feeling the hand on her back, she knew it to be something else… something she definitely didn't need right now. She needed to stay focused, after   
  
all – her life was on the line. Besides, judging by the way he was looking at her –   
  
the way he had been looking at her… No - Faye was positive that she didn't want to   
  
go down that road again.  
  
  
  
"Spike! Faye! You two all right?"  
  
  
  
Spike snatched his hand away from Faye as if he had been caught with his hand in   
  
the cookie jar. 'Bad analogy, Spiegel… bad analogy…' Turning back to his communicator, he regarded Jet with a look of amusement. "By the tone of your   
  
voice, Jet," he mused. "I would say you were worried about us."  
  
  
  
Jet sputtered a moment before looking away slightly abashed. "Well, you're the   
  
one who's calling here like you've got the hounds of hell on your heels…" He turned back to the screen, a disapproving frown on his face. However, by Jet standards, it looked more like a grimace. "What's with breaking radio silence like that?"  
  
  
  
"My bad," Spike scratched the back of his head absently. "We kinda got knocked   
  
around a bit. We're all right though," He turned to Faye. "Right?"  
  
  
  
All the woman could do was nod. She picked her headband up off of the ground, holding it in one hand, while fingering her tresses in the other.  
  
Spike's face adorned by a small grin was still burned into her mind. ~"You look  
  
better like that.~  
  
  
  
Unbeknownst to her, Spike was still conversing with Jet. "…Yeah, they quieted   
  
down a few minutes ago… I don't know if they're scouring the area for another way   
  
in, or if they gave up already."  
  
  
  
"Or went for reinforcements," Jet offered.  
  
  
  
Spike snorted lightly. "That'd be just our luck." He ground his teeth in frustration.   
  
"What the hell do they want from us?"  
  
  
  
"Ya never know," Jet replied.  
  
  
  
Spike stared down at the communicator in his hand. "And what is that supposed to  
  
mean?"  
  
  
  
"Well…"   
  
  
  
"Well what?"  
  
  
  
"An ex-gangster of one of the once most dangerous Syndicates on Mars and an   
  
ex-con with a considerable amount of debt on her shoulders," Jet gave his partner   
  
a worried frown.   
  
  
  
Spike frowned. "You think that's what it is?"  
  
  
  
"You do the math."  
  
  
  
The lanky bounty hunter's frown only deepened. "Shit… I don't need this right now."  
  
  
  
"You two better start moving," Jet cautioned. "Who knows what they're planning."  
  
  
  
"Right," Clockworks began spinning rapidly within the head of one Spike Spiegel.   
  
He stared down at the screen, his mismatched eyes gleaming. "Can we get a pick   
  
up?"  
  
  
  
"It'll be tough," Jet replied, typing away at the computer console now within arms'   
  
reach. "I can meet up with you in the Hammerhead to try to give you cover."  
  
  
  
"I don't know how much good that'll do…"  
  
  
  
"The Redtail has an Auto-retrieval system installed in," Jet offered. "If the two of   
  
you can get to it, I can send you back here to the Bebop."  
  
  
  
"All right then, we got ourselves a game plan," Spike grinned, signing off. He then  
  
turned to Faye. "All right, it's time to get out here, Faye." There was no response; Spike blinked, tapping the woman on the shoulder gently. "Faye?" He waved a   
  
hand in front of her face. She still didn't react at all.  
  
'She's totally out of it...' A worried expression passed over his face. "Shit… Faye!"  
  
  
  
Staring down at the yellow headband in her hands, Faye's emerald eyes remained   
  
wide and unseeing. Lost in her own little world, she didn't hear the worried cries of   
  
her lanky companion. Her mind was miles away.  
  
  
  
"Faye!"  
  
  
  
And then, suddenly, she blinked, staring back at the man in front of her. For a   
  
moment, his green hair and brown eyes had switched places, giving him the look   
  
of a man that as just not Spike.   
  
She frowned in confusion. 'But he… I knew that man…' She held a hand to her   
  
head, brushing stray strands of hair out of her face. 'From where… how did I know   
  
that man…'  
  
  
  
Before she knew it, Faye found herself being yanked to her feet and up a shaky set   
  
of stairs. "Wh-what are you doing?"  
  
  
  
"We gotta keep moving." Spike replied gruffly, trying to keep the concern out of his   
  
tone. Just what was the matter with her anyway? Why did it seem like she was   
  
talking to someone else? Where did she keep flying off to?   
  
"If we sit around here any longer, we're gonna wind up caught!"  
  
  
  
"Caught…?" At those words, Faye felt herself slipping away once again to another  
  
world, another life…  
  
  
  
~ "One of these days, we're going to get caught you know…" ~  
  
  
  
~ "Right now… I don't care about anything else…"~  
  
  
  
Another time…  
  
== Flashback ==  
  
Bright green eyes resting in a pale heart shaped face stared back at her from the reflection in the mirror. She was still the same girl she had always been, there was   
  
no mistake of that. But despite the simple dress and cardigan she wore, somehow today she felt much more daring.  
  
  
  
She finished up the look by applying a little makeup – some lipstick here, a little   
  
eye shadow there, but not too much. To top off the look, she reached into her bag   
  
of things to put on a headband.  
  
  
  
A hand reached out, taking the headband out of her grasp. "Don't,"   
  
  
  
She turned towards its owner, a curious smile on her face. "Why not? I always   
  
wear one when I go out; besides, it keeps the hair out of my face."  
  
  
  
"Yes, but remember, we don't want to be recognized." the voice chided gently.   
  
"We can't risk getting caught."  
  
"Oh," She did her best not to sound disappointed.  
  
The hand pushed the hair out of her face, stroking her cheek gently. She pressed   
  
the palm to her face, nuzzling it gently. Another reached forward, stroking her hair. Blushing in surprise, she looked up into a pair of startling deep green eyes – even darker than her own.  
  
  
  
"I like your hair," a soft male voice replied. "It's beautiful. Besides, I like it when   
  
you wear it down… it makes you look…"  
  
  
  
She tilted her head in curiosity. "Makes me look what? Like a little girl?"  
  
  
  
"No," The voice suddenly became wistful. "Like…"  
  
  
  
== End of Flashback ==  
  
Before long Faye and Spike were on the rooftop, climbing the ladder leading up   
  
to the Redtail hovering above them. Faye had almost reached the top rung when   
  
the zipcraft, on automatic pilot, began to make its ascent.  
  
  
  
From out of nowhere, a shot rang out. Zipping through the air, a bullet separated   
  
the ladder from the ship's hull, sending Faye back 6 feet to the ground.   
  
  
  
She'd seen the ladder give way beneath her, the look of horror in Spike's eyes as   
  
he reached out for her in vain, screaming her name. She'd also seen the three men closing in on her, weapons raised to finish her off. And through all of this, she didn't care.   
  
  
  
'I wonder if this is how you felt, Spike, falling from that cathedral window,' she   
  
thought absently to herself, staring upwards even as she roughly hit the ground. The initial impact wasn't that bad – she hadn't landed too badly – though she may have fractured something. She couldn't feel the pain at all – her mind wouldn't allow her to focus on it.   
  
The Redtail – her Redtail – continued to disappear from sight. 'Stupid Spike… I bet   
  
you have no idea how to shut off the auto-pilot.' But she didn't dwell on that either – after all, it didn't matter when you were going to die anyway. For all she knew,   
  
Spike could have had no intention of coming back for her. However, her mind   
  
wasn't worried about this either.  
  
  
  
~ "One of these days, we're going to get caught you know…" ~  
  
It did, however, permit her some clarity, as she watched her assailants fall to the   
  
ground under a barrage of gunfire. She tried to move, but she couldn't, watching in   
  
awe as a tall figure approached her with a semi-automatic in hand. She watched   
  
him check the bodies to make sure they were deceased, and when satisfied that   
  
they were, made his way over to her.  
  
  
  
~ "Right now… I don't care about anything else…"~  
  
  
  
As a show of good faith, he set the weapon down halfway, continuing towards her  
  
unarmed. She could have shot him then, she supposed, but something in her told   
  
her not to – just yet.   
  
  
  
The scenario in the mirror came to mind again. ~ "Makes me look what? Like a   
  
little girl?" ~  
  
  
  
The man scooped her up in his arms, cradling her like a child as he made his way   
  
back to the stairway, gun forgotten. Satisfied with the idea that he was there to   
  
help her, or at least keep her alive, Faye allowed herself to be carried. Being so   
  
close to him as she was, she couldn't help but think there was something about   
  
him – something important…  
  
  
  
~ "No,"~ The voice in her head still sounded wistful, like there was something in front   
  
of it that it could not reach. ~ "Like…" ~  
  
  
  
Faye glanced up at the face of her 'savior'; unruly brown hair and dark green eyes   
  
that seemed to see only her. Somehow, she knew that face, she was certain of it!   
  
The last words from her vision came to the surface, spilling from her lips. "…an   
  
angel of paradise…"  
  
  
  
With that, Faye Valentine promptly lost consciousness.  
  
~ End of Chapter 8 


	10. Entry 9

Ahoy there, minna-san! As you can see, I'm back with another update of 'Look   
  
Me in the Eye'. Thank you so much for those of you who remained patient, and   
  
for those of you who sent reviews, thanks go to you also!   
  
My comp is still on the fritz, but I've found that by emailing updates to myself, I can  
  
then post them on ff.net so not to keep you waiting. I wish I had thought of that sooner,  
  
though it doesn't change the fact that I still need to buy a new comp.( donations are  
  
accepted)  
  
But anyways, enough talk, here's more Cowboy Bebop goodness for your reading  
  
enjoyment.  
  
Chapter 9 - (Interlude 1) Not so funny Valentine  
  
"I'm on the outside, I'm looking in  
  
I can see through you, see your true colors  
  
And inside your ugly, ugly like me  
  
I can see through you, see the real you"  
  
- Aaron Lewis of StainD and Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit, "Outside"  
  
  
  
Women are a strange breed; you can't understand them, and if you try, there's  
  
something definitely wrong with you. Females like being mysterious, and they begrudge anyone who would take it upon himself to try and figure them out.   
  
That's the way it is, was, and probably the way it will always be.   
  
  
  
Looking at his female boarder/comrade in arms, Jet decided one Faye Valentine   
  
was no exception to this fact. She came into their lives quite by accident, but in  
  
no time had turned herself into a permanent fixture in their daily routine. She   
  
seemed to surround herself in lies. She'd cheat, steal, and loved to lie - in fact, it  
  
seemed as her very life-story was constantly changing. Nothing about her ever   
  
seemed constant.  
  
Then, the Syndicate changed everything. At first they had both agreed not to   
  
speak of Spike and the ordeal surrounding him once it was determined that he   
  
wouldn't be returning to the Bebop of his own volition. However, somewhere along   
  
the way, the hotheaded woman had got it in her head that the lunkhead was in  
  
fact alive and downright insisted they go and retrieve him.  
  
  
  
Jet had had no qualms about this turn of events. In fact, he was quite relieved that Spike was alive – not that he'd admit that to anyone (he did have his pride as a man, after all). He didn't even mind paying all those woolongs to get the lanky moron   
  
patched up at a real (semi-legit, that is) hospital.   
  
After all, Faye had insisted that he leave his care taking solely to her. Jet, was completely okay with that; playing nursemaid was definitely not a pass time he   
  
found enjoyable - he had his bonsai for that. Besides, he did have two zipcrafts and   
  
a ship to repair.   
  
Several weeks had passed since they had brought Spike's mummified body back   
  
to the Bebop and surprisingly enough, Faye had kept her word. Devoting her   
  
attentions to helping along Spike's recovery, Faye did everything in her power to   
  
bring the lanky bounty hunter back into the land of the living - without a single complaint. Needless to say, Jet was impressed. Granted, she had always been   
  
the one tocater to his graver injuries, but everyone was aware that this time had certainly taken the cake.   
  
Three weeks had gone by before Spike even regained consciousness, but in that   
  
span of time Faye did not lessen her efforts one bit. She changed his bandages regularly, checked his makeshift IVs constantly, and even sat by his side to make   
  
sure he was comfortable in his sleep. She talked to him about random things, and   
  
even went so far as to calm him when he felt too much pain and soothed away his nightmares.   
  
  
  
Jet was no fool. If there had been any doubt before, he knew then for certain that   
  
Faye was in love with Spike. Why, was still left to be determined. Of course she   
  
didn't make any showy signs of affections while she doted on him. While it was   
  
true that she had cried after he had left, while caring for said injured cowboy, the   
  
woman did not shed a single tear. For the most part, she remained completely professional, dedicating every spare ounce of energy towards his recovery. And   
  
when he woke up, she cut herself off from him completely.  
  
  
  
Spike seemed, to say the least, a bit put off by her disappearance; Jet couldn't say   
  
he wasn't surprised by that either. The two had spent most of their time together - Spike being doted on by Faye and Faye doing the doting - without so much as a   
  
single argument. It could almost be safe to assume that the two had started to   
  
enjoy each other's company. However, once Faye had vanished once her services   
  
were no longer needed, claiming women to be as 'fickle as the skies of Ganymede'   
  
Jet just wrote it off as Faye carrying out her 'good deed of the year' and left it at that.  
  
However, Spike had seemed to have taken it a little bit more personally.   
  
  
  
He had to have called her out of her name, Jet assumed, to make her disappear as soon as Spike had completely recovered. Of course, there was only one possible   
  
name that could have caused such a reaction, but the ex-cop was not about to get involved in one of their tiffs. After all, why bother when he found it so amusing? Faye locked up in her room for three days doing only God knows what, while Spike sat   
  
invalid on the couch, pretending to be lazing about when in reality he was waiting for   
  
her to emerge. Aside from Ed and Ein, the place had been almost peaceful.  
  
All in all, it was quite laughable really. At the time, Jet had no clue as to where   
  
Faye sat in Spike's eyes, but he felt it was a pretty safe assumption that his   
  
opinion of the 'Untouchable Shrew' woman had definitely changed. Sure, the two   
  
still squabbled with each other over trivial things, but not so much to the point where   
  
Jet feared massive property damage. Often times, the two actually managed to be   
  
civil with each other, discussing current bounty heads like professional adults. It   
  
was almost as if Spike were actually viewing Faye as a person… a female person.  
  
Faye was not without subtle changes either. The two had never been as in tune   
  
with each other as Jet had been with Spike, but Jet had noticed a change in the   
  
ex-con the moment she returned with the message for Spike on that fateful day.   
  
She didn't have to come back to tell him such a thing, but the fact that she relayed   
  
the message at all was admirable – especially since it had come from Julia. He   
  
had earlier come to the realization that she had gone off in search of her past, and   
  
the fact that she had returned lead him to one conclusion – she hadn't found what   
  
she was looking for.  
  
Jet had to admit he felt bad for her, but he admired the fact that she continued to   
  
hold her head high, carrying herself as the Poker Alice she had come to be known   
  
as. She helped out more, complained (a bit) less, but all in all remained loud,   
  
brassy, and annoying as ever. However, deep down, he knew she wasn't the same   
  
as she had been. It was just an act.  
  
It was almost as if she had changed masks on them; keeping up the bravado   
  
façade of a gutsy broad who didn't take no for an answer, when deep down she   
  
was hiding and still searching for the truth she so longed for. It was because of this   
  
that Jet had to admit he held some respect for the girl. He only hoped she found the true self she was looking for, before the mask she hid behind became the real Faye Valentine.  
  
~ End of Chapter 9 


	11. Entry 10

Chapter 10 - (Interlude 2) Memory  
  
"Clutching my cure  
  
I tightly lock the door  
  
I try to catch my breath again  
  
I hurt much more  
  
Than anytime before  
  
I had no options left again"  
  
Linkin Park, "Breaking the Habit"  
  
  
  
Faye decided that she no longer believed in happy endings. And why should   
  
she? The life she had been living up to this point had been one big joke.   
  
Stripped of any memories of her past, she had woken up in a world unfamiliar   
  
to her only to fall sucker to the first moron to come along. A heavy burden was   
  
unjustly thrown upon her shoulders – 300 billion woolongs… she hadn't even any   
  
idea what a woolong was let alone how to come up with that many! What kind  
  
of life was that to wake up into?  
  
  
  
And to top it all off, she had been left all alone with no one to depend on but   
  
herself. She learned the hard way that those among her claiming to help her   
  
usually weren't, or did notunderstand that they were doing more harm than good.   
  
She was forced to harden her heart towards everyone – good and bad – to keep   
  
herself from being exploited ever again.  
  
She wasn't completely apathetic yet though; deep down she still held onto the   
  
hope that the person she had once been would re-emerge, allowing her to become normal again. This thought alone not only kept her up at night, but helped her make   
  
it through the day. After all, Poker Alice never said 'die'.  
  
  
  
However, Fate can often be cruel. Faye was no saint, she knew that better than anyone. This was often her excuse for all the bad hands life had dealt her. She   
  
had done something in a past life to screw up her karma – that had to be why her   
  
life sucked. Right?  
  
  
  
That theory, was effectively thrown out the window, run over by numerous transport  
  
vehicles, incinerated, and then scattered to the winds once the fateful beta tape had arrived. It was bad enough that she had to wait to see the whole thing (she had to   
  
save up the 300 some-odd woolongs before she even attempted asking Jet for it –   
  
she did have her pride), but what she saw on that archaic screen was completely different than what she had expected.  
  
  
  
She had been… happy. Not only did she seem to be pretty well off financially, but   
  
also there were people surrounding her that cared about her as much as she cared about them. There were no debt collectors, no bounty hunters after her head, no fighting… her life had been… perfect.  
  
  
  
No matter what she told herself, Faye could not bring herself to be happy about   
  
all this. She had waited so long to find some piece of her past, and what she had received had completely thrown her for a loop. She couldn't remember it; she   
  
couldn't accept it! How could this have been the life she had once had? Poker   
  
Alice, a smiling, bright-eyed girl with future hopes and aspirations for herself? Why,   
  
this just couldn't be right!  
  
  
  
She had been upset at first, and then she had become angry. What had she done? What crime had she committed that was so foul, so heinous, so wretched and   
  
horrible that deserved such a punishment? What had she done in her past life,   
  
that deserved having everything she had once known and come to hold dear   
  
stripped so violently away from her?  
  
  
  
The Gate Accident had ruined everything. Earth had been laid to ruins by   
  
meteorites that had broken free from the Moon in the explosion. The beta tape,   
  
she believed, had been her only hope, the key to finding what had been lost.   
  
However, once she returned to Earth, she finally received the rude awakening she   
  
had feared. Upon waking up from a cryogenic sleep, all data on her – her name,   
  
her history, her reason for being preserved in the first place – everything that had  
  
once been her life had been incinerated in fire, smoke, and debris.   
  
  
  
But Faye was not about to give up. She searched, constantly and endlessly   
  
through the rubble of what had once been her home. Scraps and bits became   
  
worth more to her than any of the diamonds and pearls and woolongs anyone could   
  
ever offer her. She had been determined to make some sense of her past – even if it killed her.  
  
  
  
However, somewhere deep down, a part of Faye still believed that there was no   
  
suchthing as happy endings, no matter how hard she struggled to make things   
  
right. Upon leaving Earth with her finds, still nothing had come from regaining her memories - in fact, upon returning to the Bebop Faye lost the only other thing that   
  
had managed to keep her together for so long; Spike had gone off to meet his   
  
destiny… He was prepared to go off and never come back.   
  
She would have lost him forever, and it to make matters worse, it would have been   
  
all because of a memory.  
  
~ End of Chapter 10  
  
Author's Notes -  
  
Yeah... so um... Faye's definitely going through some issues right now... And for   
  
those of you who are wondering, no, Faye is not dead. And no, she will not die.  
  
I don't really believe in that kind of angst. Like I said before, I like happy endings.  
  
For the most part, the plot of this fic has really gotten away from me in the time  
  
that I had it on hold. However, I will continue with it as it is (unless anyone has  
  
any suggestions they'd like to offer) and hopefully get back on track. But in the  
  
meantime, let me know what you guys think. I'd loved to hear from ya!  
  
Remember the three R's of fanfiction, everyone! =) 


	12. Entry 11

Chapter 11 - Obligation  
  
"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken  
  
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide  
  
Don't cry"  
  
Evanescence, "Hello"  
  
~ Flashback ~  
  
The water beneath her shimmered and rippled, causing the reflection it cast to   
  
waver slightly. Still, the moon appearing on the water's surface remained as   
  
bright and luminescent as ever. Waving her hand over it, the image vanished   
  
only to reappear once the surface stilled again.  
  
  
  
"Nervous?"  
  
  
  
Startled out of her own thoughts, she glanced upwards. A pair of green eyes   
  
stared back at her, twinkling in amusement.   
  
She found herself smiling back. "A little bit."  
  
A male voice chuckled lightly. "Ah a smile… much better." The green eyes   
  
twinkled even more. "Y'know, a frown'll give you wrinkles."  
  
"Oh no," she exclaimed in mock terror, bringing her hands to her cheeks. "I   
  
wouldn't want that… I'll look like an old woman before my time."  
  
A palm rested itself on top of her own. "I wouldn't worry too much…" The eyes   
  
turned clear and wistful. "I'll bet you'll still look beautiful when you're 80 years   
  
old…"  
  
~ End of Flashback ~  
  
Faye's eyelids fluttered slightly as she felt herself returning from conscious -  
  
ness.   
  
'What the hell's wrong with me...?' she muttered to herself. 'Why do I keep  
  
hearing that same voice in my head...?'  
  
As feeling returned to her body, the first thing she was aware of was pain. All of   
  
her joints ached, and her right ankle had to be broken.   
  
  
  
'Guess I won't be running anywhere any time soon… Shit…'  
  
  
  
As she thought of this, the second thing she became aware of was the searing   
  
heat that seemed to be surrounding her body. Squirming slightly, she let out a low moan of discomfort.   
  
Before she knew what was happening, something cold and wet was being gently brushed against her forehead. She stiffened at first but then calmed when she   
  
realized it was a towel.  
  
  
  
'Thank God…' she thought to herself. 'I'll take a cold compress over Ein's tongue   
  
any day…' The damned data dog always found a way to be even more annoying   
  
when she had a major hangover. Perhaps she should lay off the liquor for a while…  
  
  
  
She had just finished that thought when she felt the cold compress slowly making   
  
its way from her forehead down to her neck. Then she felt a hand parting the collar   
  
of her vinyl shirt as the wet cloth traveled its way down her chest…  
  
  
  
-Click!- The hand's owner was met with a fully loaded Glock 90.   
  
  
  
The hand moved away, as did the cold compress. "You're awake."  
  
  
  
Bleary green eyes opened slowly, straining to focus on the target in front of them.   
  
"Your powers of observation are astounding."  
  
  
  
There was a chuckle. "So I've been told." The cold compress found its way back   
  
to her forehead; deep down she was grateful. "You've still got a bit of a fever."  
  
  
  
"I guess a hangover combined with a six foot drop'll do that to you," Faye   
  
countered.   
  
She had decided it would be best not to be too coy with this person. After all,   
  
she wasn't in a position to gain advantage should the odds get out of her favor.  
  
  
  
"I'm not going to do anything," the voice replied after a few moments of silence.  
  
  
  
"That remains to be determined," Faye countered, though she lowered her gun   
  
slightly. It wouldn't do any good to waste a bullet if she couldn't see what she   
  
was shooting. "Where are we?"  
  
  
  
"Mars, 30 miles south of Tharsis."  
  
  
  
Good, so she hadn't been taken off of the planet nor out of the city. If she could manage to get back to her Redtail, she could get back to the Bebop. Not to mentionfigure out what the hell was wrong with her. Normal people didn't travel   
  
back and forth 60 years through time in their head. "Your place, I take it?"  
  
  
  
"Your observation skills aren't half bad, either,"  
  
  
  
Faye smirked. "It was a lucky guess." She tucked her gun back into her jacket.   
  
'At least I've still got all of my clothes on…' She closed her eyes, letting out a deep breath. "So, why'm I here?"   
  
  
  
"You've got fracture in your right ankle, a dislocated shoulder, and a minor   
  
concussion, and a lot of nasty bruises," the voice answered. "I couldn't have just   
  
left you with those guys on the rooftop."  
  
  
  
Faye resisted the urge to flinch, remembering the look on Spike's face as she fell   
  
to the ground. Like he didn't see that same kind of shit everyday. But why the   
  
face? Her brain just couldn't process it. He had been afraid… for her…? "What,   
  
you just happened to be in the neighborhood? Or was it just your moral obligation  
  
to help a poor damsel in distress?"  
  
  
  
There was a pause. "Something like that."  
  
  
  
Silence fell over the room for a moment. "Really?"  
  
  
  
Her skepticism was not lost on her host. "Let's just say that as it seemed those   
  
guys had a score to settle with you, so did I with them."  
  
  
  
Faye decided she would be satisfied with this for now, wishing she could see   
  
clearly enough to tell whether or not he was telling the truth. There was just   
  
something about his voice… she couldn't be sure, but it made her feel at ease. It   
  
didn't seem lustful, or disgusted by her appearance; it sounded intrigued, but that   
  
made Faye all the more curious about its owner.  
  
  
  
"So… seeing as I'm a bit incapacitated at the moment and won't be going   
  
anywhereon my own anytime soon…" Faye began, "What should I call you?"  
  
  
  
There was a brief chuckle. "I hadn't even thought about introductions until now.   
  
Sorry."  
  
  
  
"No big." Faye countered.   
  
  
  
"Think of it as being my moral obligation to give my name to poor damsels I   
  
happen to rescue." He trailed off, seemingly seeing the brief look of skepticism   
  
once again skirt across her features. "As for your question, I guess you can call   
  
me Jazz." the voice continued. "All my friends do."   
  
"You like that kind of music?" Faye asked.  
  
  
  
"Yeah," the voice answered. "I play a bit."  
  
  
  
She found her curiosity pique. "What instrument?"  
  
  
  
"Saxophone." Her stomach lurched slightly, her head bobbing to the side. "You   
  
all right…?"  
  
  
  
"Yeah…" Faye said with a groan. "Peachy…"  
  
  
  
The bed shifted as the voice's owner stood up, removing the cloth from her head   
  
and replacing it after dipping in a nearby basin of water. Faye was vaguely aware   
  
of a light being turned off somewhere near her head.  
  
  
  
"Where are you going…?" she called out.  
  
  
  
"You need to rest," Jazz replied. "I'll be in the next room over; just call if you need  
  
anything."  
  
  
  
Before losing consciousness, the last thing Faye remembered was a tall lanky   
  
figure with clay-colored hair and wistful green eyes.  
  
  
  
And she'd never told him her name…  
  
~~~  
  
Jet barreled into Spike's quarters, his light blue eyes worried and questioning.   
  
Spike, the room's sole occupant, bustled about, gathering as much ammunition   
  
as he could carry. He noticed Jet's entrance, but didn't say a word, quickly   
  
returning to his ask.  
  
  
  
The ex-cop didn't like the look in his eyes one bit. "Spike, what the hell's going   
  
on?" he asked. There was no answer. He had a really bad feeling about this.   
  
"Where is Faye?"  
  
  
  
The lanky bounty hunter flinched involuntarily. "She owe you money or something?   
  
Might have some trouble getting it back…"  
  
  
  
There was something about the younger man's tone of voice that Jet didn't like. It wasn't the usual jibing tone he took when referring to Faye's sticky-fingered habits. Something was definitely wrong. "They got the drop on us," Spike replied after a moment of silence. His voice sounded so hollow. "We were on the roof… about   
  
to take off in the Redtail…"  
  
  
  
Jet felt like he was witnessing a car crash; you want to cover your ears or at least  
  
look away, but you're still so compelled to watch. "What happened?" he asked.  
  
  
  
"They shot the ladder," Spike busied himself with loading his gun. His face   
  
remained neutral while his eyes regarded his Jericho with a wild look completely   
  
unlike him. Jet wasn't sure if he looked ready to kill or to break down into   
  
hysterics. "Faye fell…" He swallowed slowly. "She fell and they got her."  
  
  
  
Jet's eyes nearly bugged out of his skull. "They got her?!" he exclaimed. "What   
  
the fu… why didn't you help her?" He paused in surprise at the wounded look that quickly skirted across his partner's features.  
  
  
  
It was quickly replaced however, with Spike's patented look of grim humor.   
  
"Faye's the only one who really knows how to fly that ship of hers," he ground out.   
  
"The damned auto pilot wouldn't shut off. I couldn't get back in time."  
  
  
  
"So, they were after Faye the whole time," Jet replied. "Seeing since they didn't   
  
attack you once she fell…"  
  
  
  
"It doesn't matter…" Spike growled. "They're dead."  
  
  
  
"Wha…?"  
  
  
  
"Some other guy showed up and took'em out…" Spike answered. "I couldn't see   
  
what happened after that." With that, he strode out of the room.  
  
  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
  
  
"I can trace her with her communicator," Spike answered simply. "I'm gonna go   
  
get her back."  
  
  
  
"Alone?" Jet countered. "You don't even know who those guys were! What if you   
  
get caught up in some Syndicate shit again?"  
  
  
  
Spike turned on him, his expression dangerously calm. "So, you're suggesting I   
  
just abandon Faye?" he asked. At Jet's negative, he laughed humorlessly. "The shrew'd probably haunt me for the rest of my days."  
  
  
  
The ex-cop's expression remained grim. "From what you told me, Spike," he   
  
replied quietly. "She fell a good distance… there's no way she could have   
  
escaped if this guy was an enemy."  
  
  
  
"Then I'm just gonna have to rescue her."  
  
  
  
He was serious about this… Spike Spiegel actually wanted to save Faye   
  
Valentine – no ulterior motives, no strings attached. Jet felt like he was playing   
  
the Devil's Advocate, or had either tripped and stumbled into the Twilight Zone.  
  
  
  
"Faye's managed to get herself into a lot of scrapes and come out on top…" he   
  
replied. "But none… none like this."  
  
  
  
Spike's fist collided with a wall, sending a heavy clanging sound echoing down   
  
the corridor. His eyes remained shut, as if forcing out some horrid mental image.   
  
"I can't… I can't let her die, Jet!" he exclaimed. "I have to get her back! Julia--!"  
  
Calling upon all his years in the force, Jet schooled his expression to remain   
  
calm.   
  
"Julia's got nothing to do with this, Spike," he replied evenly.   
  
Spike's face took on a hurt look. "I wasn't…"  
  
"She's dead." Jet countered, trying to keep his tone neutral. "Faye's the one in   
  
danger, remember?"  
  
  
  
The two men fell into an uncomfortable silence. Spike looked up, his mismatched  
  
eyes unfocused for a moment. After regaining lucidity, he tucked his Jericho into a holster at his waist. He turned away from Jet, heading towards the main cabin.   
  
"Spike…" Jet called out.  
  
"I'll bring her back," Spike called over his shoulder. "I owe her that much at least."  
  
Jet watched his retreating form, unsure of whom 'her' was supposed to be. When it came down to it, Jet wasn't even sure Spike knew either.  
  
~ End of Chapter 11 


End file.
